“She is a good friend, but I just don’t know how to fix this conflict. I wonder if it is time to just walk away.” In today’s disposable society it sometimes doesn’t seem worth the effort to risk confronting a friend; after all they will only get defensive and that would ruin the friendship anyway. To avoid losing a friend or making a conflict worse consider the Peacemaker PAUSE. In an earlier post we looked at the P for Prepare, now we will address the A in PAUSE which reminds us to Affirm the relationship. One helpful tool to addressing a difficult issue is to attack the problem but affirm the relationship.
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29 ESV
Put forth the effort to think through what you value in the relationship and make that the motivation for dealing with issues. If someone knows you are really trying to fix the relationship rather than fix her, she will be less defensive.
The next time you have to bring up an issue be sure to communicate how important that friendship is to you. For more information on the peacemaker PAUSE visit PeaceMaker Ministry click here,
To read the post on P for PAUSE click here